Trials and Tribulations

I returned from my trip months ago and kept telling myself to write and always failed to do so. So now I am sitting here on my couch, watching a movie, called "The Messenger," and it's brought me to write. Life is short, do all the amazing things you always dreamed of! Take a trip of a lifetime even if it hurts your pocketbook. Climb the highest mountain, no matter how long it may take you. Laugh at all the small things. Believe in yourself and those around you. You may not have to love thy neighbor but you should tolerate him. Respect everyone. Have faith, all things work out, just not always the way one plans. Be spontaneous. Read a good book.

It's Been A While

It's been a while since I've written. So much has happened and yet, so much has stayed the same. I'm still as single as ever! But I love every minute of it! I'm on a countdown right now, 14 days 21 hours 50 minutes until I leave for vacation! I'll be gone for 6 weeks with no technology and I am going to love EVERY minute of it! I'm from an Island Nation, Papua New Guinea, born and raised. However when I was 9, my parents uprooted and we moved to this lovely little Island, Kauai, in the United States. I've returned to PNG, twice since we've moved, however the last time was about 11 years ago. This trip is LONG overdue!
There are definitely some things I will miss. And people too! 6 weeks is a long time to have zero contact with my friends, who some of them, are so much closer then just that. My beautiful dog, Luna, and my bratty bird, Andy, will be left to be cared for by my father. However, Luna at least will be able to go on hikes with one of my best friends! She won't be forgotten, but she better not get too attached to him! LOL
When I return I'll have videos and photos to share with everyone! Oh the excitement! I love it!

Reality Check

It's kind of sad to wake up one day and realize, that you are almost 30, and you have absolutely nothing to show for it. To come to the realization that the last real relationship you were in, you were barely 19. So when it comes down to the huge scheme of things - you've never actually been in an actual relationship. So the 8 years of your life that you spent with this guy or that guy has actually messed you up quite a bit. You are what is to be considered, emotionally unavailable! Your perspective on what a real relationship is so misconstrued, that it sends you into a spiral of emotions just thinking about how f'd up you are.
6 months ago I remember explaining to someone, that I had never been on a real date. And with the shock that he had, I was kind of held-back. Now I look at it, it really is peculiar that someone my age has never been on a real date. I'm almost 30 and it's sad to know that I've never been asked on a date. I've never had the excitement of getting dressed up and glamoured to go out on the town, with a really cool guy. I've never been asked to go to "dinner and a movie." I've never experienced one of the most simple of pleasures, one gets to experience. I've never been courted.
Now, as I approach my third decade in life, I have no wedding ring, (with no chance of one in the future) no kids, no real huge career jump, to show for it. My existence in the world, really has made no impact. My friends are embracing all of life's joys. Some are married, some have kids, others have wonderful careers. I'm nothing like them - I've helped none of them get to where they are, they are there because they have the little thing about them, that made God, give them a chance.  What do I have to show for myself? Nothing!
I'm a crazy, old, fat, lady - who own's her own home, with her pets; she works a middle-class job, for low-class pay, struggling to make ends meet, while her high-class career drains her of whatever free time, or extra cash she has.

Jessie J - Nobody's Perfect

Sometimes I say things to my friends - without thinking, this is for all the friends I've hurt with my words. Sorry.

Lyrics:

Never … I have this feeling I talk too much
Sometimes I just can’t shut the hell up
It’s like I need to tell someone anyone who listen
And that’s where I seem to fuck up, yeah
I forget about the consequences, for a minute there I lose my senses
And thought that you … my mouth’s got going the words got going

Baby never meant to hurt you, you know it’s time that i… you
Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved
… lesson to learn and I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it
I guess karma comes back around cause now I’m the one hurting down
And I hate that I made you thinking that you must repair what’s broken
So don’t tell me you can’t forgive me
Cause nobody’s perfect, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I fucking turned the things …
I swear I never wanna cross that line
I should of kept it between us but know I … I’ma feeling …
So it hits … with these tears coming out from my eyes
I gotta change if I wanna keep you forever
Promise that I’m gonna try

Baby never meant to hurt you, you know it’s time that i… you
Treat the people I love like I wanna be loved
… lesson to learn and I hate that I let you down and I feel so bad about it
I guess karma comes back around cause now I’m the one hurting down
http://www.elyricsworld.com/nobody's_perfect_lyrics_jessie_j.html
And I hate that I made you thinking that you must repair what’s broken
So don’t tell me you can’t forgive me
Cause nobody’s perfect, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

I’m not a saint no matter no, cause what I did that wasn’t cool
Mamma swear that I’ll never do it again to you
I’m not a saint, I’m not a saint, I’m not at all
Mamma swear that I’ll never do it again to you
And I hate that I let you down, and I feel so bad about it
I guess karma comes back around cause now I’m the one hurting down
And I hate that I made you thinking that you must repair what’s broken
So don’t tell me you can’t forgive me
Cause nobody’s perfect, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Don’t tell me, don’t tell me no, you can’t give me more
Cause nobody’s perfect.

Best Friends

Amazingly true - 

I could never ask for a better friend, then my Luna.

Lupe Fiasco - Words I Never Said ft. Skylar Grey [Music Video]

Lupe is awesome!

The Rej3ctz - Cat Daddy (Starring Chris Brown)

Totally reminds me of Mark. I guarantee he's jamming this song. lol